Although actresses have been taking their clothes off in movies for decades, few have had the liscense to do it better than those in our Top 5 Sexiest Strippers in Cinema.
With so many Top 5 lists out there, yes, this is another gratuitous collection of sexually suggestive yet socially “acceptable-by-way-of-artistic-license” images of famous actresses as strippers in a blatant attempt to attract page views. Why should we apologize? And there’s no denying that this new list reinforces – albeit subtly – the notion that gyrating on stage nude is a prerequisite to mainstream success. But we think you’ll find this one much more tastefully done than all the others.
The simple fact is, there are hundreds (if not thousands) of Youtube videos with millions (if not tens of millions) of views just because there happens to be a woman with cleavage in the thumbnail. Maybe she’s talking about her cat; maybe she’s demonstrating how to make quiche. It doesn’t matter. The fact is, a large majority of people on the internet can always be relied upon to click these images. So, doggonnit, we’re going to use them again.
You’re welcome, by the way.
5. Jessica Biel – Powder Blue
Before she hooked up with JT and got all “respectable”, Jessica Biel was just your typical, run of the mill insanely hot aspiring film actress, running away from chainsaw wielding cannibals and attempting to keep the fact that she was ridiculously, insanely hot from limiting her acting career. In 2007, however, Jessica decided to stop battling vampires (sentient military aircraft, etc) and attempt a more direct path to the glittery lights of mainstream stardom; specifically, an indi-flick portal into celebrity skin website fame via Powder Blue.
Did it work? Yes. Today Biel is singing with the LA Philharmonic and engaged to the pop culture equivalent of Jell-O. Was Powder Blue a good movie? Who knows. It had Patrick Swayze in it, so it couldn’t have been all bad.
4. Penelope Ann Miller – Carlito’s Way
This would normally be the spot on our list where Daryl Hannah’s turn in Dancing at the Blue Iguana was featured, but NAY we say! Ms Hannah not only phoned in that performance (from over a hill, no less) but had already provided plenty of superior sans clothing scenes in films like Reckless and “At Play in the Fields of the Lord”.
No, more fitting is to finally give Penelope Ann Miller some long overdue credit for her role as oft-topless stripper Gail in 1993’s Carlito’s Way. Just this week she was snubbed during Oscar nominations for her role as Doris in The Artist and could probably use a little cheering up. And what better way to do that than placing her above Jessica Biel on this list?
Kudos, Penelope. Even if nobody remembers you from The Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag, they’ll always remember you as the hot chick from that other Scarface movie.
3. Demi Moore – Striptease
In 1996, years before Harodl & Kumar actor John Cho gave us the term “milf,” and a full decade before the word “cougar” referred to anything other than a mountain lion, Demi Moore was an older veteran of the acting game.
Impressive indeed then that in her mid-30’s, after giving birth to multiple children, Demi would agree to bare all and shake her moneymaker in the year’s most critically reviled film. No doubt the $12.5 million salary she received had significant influence on her decision to play exotic dancer Erin Grant in Striptease.
But still, you have to give her credit … she looked priiiitty good doing it.
2. Elizabeth Berkley – Showgirls
Watching Saved By the Bell reruns today, it’s still hard to believe Jessie Spano came out hotter than Kelly Kapowski. Rockin’ the mom jeans and buzz-killing anything fun the gang tried to do, Jessie occupied a peculiar place on the show as a mix of plain-Jane counterpoint to Kelly and all around foil; too hot for Screech but not hot enough for Zack or Slater. Her “post Bell” prospects were not bright, to say the least.
All that changed though in 1995.
As it turned out, not only was Jessie light years hotter than Kelly, she was hotter than GINA GERSHON and taking center stage in a high budget, mainstream Hollywood movie regarding the finer points of clothing removal. Minus the concomitant film career, Showgirls did for Berkley what Basic Instinct did for Sharon Stone, and to this day stands as a unique example of how far well timed nudity can take a film, and an actress.
1. Selma Hayek – From Dusk Til Dawn
It came down to the wire, but, in the end, wanting to include only one Robert Rodriguez striptease scene on our list we decided to forego Jessica Alba in Sin City, Rose McGowan in Planet Terror and whomever Rodriguez might be filming right now on a stripper pole, in exchange for the inimitable stylings of Selma Hayek in From Dusk Til Dawn.
Why? No reason in particular. Unlike Alba and McGowan, Hayek had a relatively small part in Dusk outside of her dance scene. No sweeping love affair with Bruce Willis, no prosthetic machine gun driven unceremoniously into her femur, just a brief burlesque dance followed by reptilian transformation, shot by George Clooney, done. She didn’t even deliver her lines very well. Is she sexier than Alba or McGowan? Again, no. She’s shorter, less saucy and the image of her unibrow from Frida will always be there.
What’s done is done, however. Who do you think should have made the top of our list?