5 Marvel Super Hero Movies We Want to See (and 5 We Don't)
by Tom Burns

FIVE MARVEL SUPER HERO MOVIES WE NEVER WANT TO SEE:

Movie: Namor the Sub-Mariner

WHY DON'T WE WANT TO SEE IT?: Namor is a big gun in the Marvel Universe, but in Hollywood, he's just the poor nerd's Aquaman. Watching a dude in a Speedo command fish and fight Mermen just sounds like a lame way to spend two hours, and we're not even convinced that the technology is there to make a Namor movie yet. Unless James Cameron really did figure out how to make Vinnie Chase believable as Aquaman during a lunch break on the Entourage set, how the hell do you film actors interacting underwater without it looking... um... what's the word... stupid?

Movie: Fantastic Four 3

WHY DON'T WE WANT TO SEE IT?: Did you see Fantastic Four 1 and 2? Oh, you did? Then we don't need to explain any further.

Movie: Hawkeye

WHY DON'T WE WANT TO SEE IT?: Here's the thing - we love Hawkeye as a comic book character, but unless he's pre-established as a badass Jack Sparrow-ish rogue in an Avengers movie, there is no reason why anyone, except the nerdiest nerds, would go see a Hawkeye movie. We're not trying to pick on ol' Clint Barton, but Hawkeye was listed as one of the ten properties that Marvel Studios was actively developing when they first obtaining their independent funding back in 2005. But, like we said, unless he has an amazing supporting turn in The Avengers, let's not tempt fate by making a super hero movie about a dude in purple tights fighting crime with a bow and arrow, OK?

Movie: Young X-Men

WHY DON'T WE WANT TO SEE IT?: Mostly because X-Men 3 left such a bad taste in our mouths. But it doesn't help that Josh Schwartz, creator of Gossip Girl, is writing the screenplay for this teen-focused continuation of the floundering Fox X-Men franchise. Fine, we had friends that dug The OC and everything, but the idea of a young team of mutants, text-messaging each other "OMFG" while they fight teenage Magneto, just turns our stomachs.

Movie: Deadpool

WHY DON'T WE WANT TO SEE IT?: This is probably going to piss off some fanboys, but we've never really liked Marvel's "Merc with the Mouth". He's the poor man's Lobo and he's a stupid relic of the Rob Liefield era of bad comics you wish you could forget. (For those who don't know, Liefield is the Steven Seagal of comic book creators who, for some reason we have yet to figure out how or why, was really popular for a few years in the 1990s.) Ryan Reynolds, who has long petitioned for the role of the unkillable, amoral assassin, is playing Deadpool in a cameo in Hugh Jackman's stand-alone Wolverine movie. Let's all hope that the 'Pool just shows up in flashback set during the nineties (Logan battles the dot.com boom) and that's where he remains.