The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D - DVD Review

The last time I was excited about a 3-D movie it was 1983 and the technology was experiencing a comeback. Friday the 13th and Amityville both took a stab at it and Jaws 3-D followed. Since I was a kid, Jaws was the only option for me. But here’s the thing, I don’t remember the movie itself, I just remember being excited about going. That must be the same feeling kids are having about The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D. 3-D, 22 years later, is still just a gimmick, a one trick pony that fools the youngsters into thinking they will see something spectacular, but in all likelihood, will just leave them with a headache.

Sharkboy and Lavagirl had potential for more than a gimmick. Director Robert Rodriguez, the genius behind Sin City, has built a state-of-the-art studio at his house and he has a track record of making decent children’s movies with the Spy Kids series, that last one being partly 3-D.

But here’s the thing. From now on we need to check if Robert Rodriguez has one of his kids getting a co-writer credit for the screenplay. We’ll call it the "Rodriguez Red Flag." Racer Rodriguez (seven at the time) made his Hollywood debut about 16 years to early, by receiving a "story by" credit. We can all agree spending time with your kids is important, but taking one of their ideas, and turning it into a feature film might be over stepping the lines.

The A of SB and LG follows Max (Cayden Boyd) and his dream journal into the land of make-believe. His imaginary superhero friends (SB & LG) come to life and need his help in saving the planet Drool, where all of Max’s dreams go. Bullies terrorize Max in both worlds and if he can just remember his dreams, he could save everyone.

The acting is awful, whether it is coming from the kids or the adults. David Arquette and Kristin Davis are terribly mismatched as an unhappy married couple, but luckily they're barely in the film. George Lopez tackles five different roles in the film but doesn't make any of them memorable. The 3-D (it comes with four pairs of 3-D glasses) left me with a headache and scratching my head. Rodriguez employs gimmicks, such as pointing, and passes it off as a good use of technology.

The DVD can be seen in 2-D but then you are left concentrating even more on the story and characters, such as the bizarre Lavagirl. Throughout the film, Lavagirl wonders about where she's from and what her purpose is. It really feels like Robert Rodriguez is curious about the same thing, never having given her one as a writer. The dialogue uses every possible over-killed phrase dealing with sharks, water, lava, heat or electricity (Mr. Electricity is a villain). Seven-year-olds might have an imagination but they aren't great storytellers, and it consistently looked like Robert was trying to make his kid's dreams come true.

That is what makes it so difficult to truly despise the film. The DVD has limited extras. Just a commentary by Rodriguez and a featurette called "Creating Sharkboy and Lavagirl with Racer Max." But they show an endearing side to Rodriguez, who seems to be a fantastic father. He created an entire play land for his kids, allowing them to be extras in the film (Racer is the young Sharkboy). Rodriguez glows when talking about his kids and loves that he can capture the feeling of a child. In the commentary he even praises Arquette and Davis for their performances, just like any proud father would. I can't knock Rodriguez for making this film or wanting to play with his kids, but it should have been a personal home video for the family to enjoy and nothing more. I just wish someone would make a good film that captures the excitement I feel, when I hear the words "three dee."