STUDIO: MGM
RELEASE DATE: April 25, 2008
STARRING: Bret Harrison, Burt Reynolds, and Shannon Elizabeth
WRITTEN BY: Gil Cates Jr.
DIRECTED BY: Gil Cates Jr. & Mark Weinstock
GENRE: Drama
RATING: PG-13

One of the most cliche-ridden and generally misguided films of not just the year, but the decade so far, hits theaters this week with the awful Deal, a movie that, along with 21 and The Grand (two bad movies that still out-achieve this flick), proves that Hollywood has NO grasp of what makes gambling interesting any more. Cards have been used to cinematic advantage for decades, but the modern Vegas-World Poker Tour phenomenon seems to have befuddled the movie industry. It doesn't matter what celebrity poker superstar (and cameo player in Deal) Jennifer Tilly might say, it's becoming clearer and clearer that moviemakers should just stay away from cards because, if they make another Deal, the glorious game of poker might not be able to survive it. Just the pitch line for Deal - which could variously be "Karate Kid meets 21" or "Color of Money with cards instead of cues" - should make most moviegoers a little nervous. The only thing Deal really has going in its favor is that Reaper's Bret Harrison is actually talented enough to carry a film and, believe it or not, when he tries, Burt Reynolds can actually still be an interesting actor when he tries. (Although with his 2008 output of In the Name of the King and Deal, it's clear that "trying" isn't in this classic actor's repertoire any more.) But, like any poker player will tell you (and the screenplay for Deal will try and refute), you can be the best player in the world, but if you don't have the cards that night, you're not walking home with the pot. Deal didn't give its players anything worth betting on, and viewers should definitely avoid this flop.

Harrison plays Alex Stillman, the kid that millions of online poker players think they are - one of the best. He wins his way into a televised tournament where he makes a pretty big mistake and craps out, but he catches the eye of veteran poker player Tommy Vinson (Burt Reynolds). Vinson tracks down Stillman and makes him an offer - he'll stake the money, they'll split the profits. You see, Tommy used to be one of the best, but gambling problems nearly destroyed his marriage and he had to pick his gal over the Queen of Hearts. Tommy stopped betting on poker himself decades ago, but now he can teach Alex everything he knows and live vicariously through his winnings. What secrets does Tommy have to pass down to Alex? Almost nothing. The extent of the lessons Tommy teaches Alex wouldn't amount to five minutes of an online poker training video - don't forget to bluff, learn your opponent's tells, and, of course, "it's the players, not the cards" (the most overused and tired cliche in the poker movie genre). Meanwhile, Alex struggles against his dad's desire to have him follow in his footsteps and keeps his very lucrative new habit secret, while Tommy does the same with his wife, who has threatened to leave him if he even sits at a poker table again. After a girl (Shannon Elizabeth, in a thankless role, even for her) breaks them apart, Tommy and Alex find themselves playing in the same poker tournament, and we lurch into the old “can the student beat the teacher?” scenario.

The “master vs. pupil” dynamic might make for an interesting dilemma if co-writer/director Gil Cates Jr. (the son of the famous Academy Award telecast producer and a man whose previous directing credit was an episode of Joey) gave Tommy’s lessons any sort of weight at all. Even with a gun held to his head, I don't think Cates could explain exactly what Alex learns from Tommy. Friendship? Confidence? What beats a flush? Even one of the most crucial lessons imparted to our young poker player - how to translate confidence at the table to confidence with women - is completely shot in the foot by a predictable plot twist late in the movie. So what does Deal teach us? The final lesson is an offensive one - that gambling isn't a problem, as long as you win. How do Tommy and Alex deal with their concerned loved ones? By winning, of course. Gamblers, don't worry about alienating your loved ones. When you win, they'll come back to you. It's a stomach-turning theme. Boring, uneventful, cliched, inaccurate, and, eventually, offensive to people who actually deal with gambling as an addiction, Deal fails to work on any single level. About now is when a critic would throw in a reference to a low poker hand to compare it to, but Deal can't even rise to a pair of twos.