Movie Matchmaker: Quentin Tarantino’s Grand Theft Auto
by Tom Burns

Here at The Deadbolt, we pride ourselves on our ability to match up our favorite filmmakers with the perfect source material - be it books, TV shows, graphic novels, or bumper stickers - that those cinematic giants can shape into the classic movies of tomorrow. Heck, in the right hands, almost anything can be made into a good movie. It was announced this week that producer Warren Zide was planning on turning the song "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" into an action-comedy franchise and, you know what, if he finds the right combination of director and screenwriter, that might actually work. (Though it’ll be hard to shake the specter of Charles S. Dutton’s career-defining performance as Brown in Crocodile Dundee 2.) However, for this edition of Movie Matchmaker, we may have bitten off more than we can chew. Why? Because, this time, we’re trying to match up a director with perhaps one of the most prevalent pop culture phenomenons of the past decade, Rockstar Studio’s Grand Theft Auto video game series.

Why GTA and why now? To be blunt, Grand Theft Auto IV comes out for the PS3 and xBox 360 on April 29, and we almost literally can’t think of anything else. Iron Man, Indiana Jones, Clinton-Obama-McCain - who cares? Next week, we’re going to be cruising down the streets of Liberty City again, listening to Lazlo on the radio, taking calls on our cell phone, pulling jobs for the Russians, the Triads, or whoever, and always keeping an eye open for a good opportunity to grab a rocket launcher and start a 5-star party of carnage and mayhem. And that’s not even getting into the fact that we finally get multiplayer, a better combat system, the Euphoria animation engine, and ... calm down, calm down. Let’s turn our arousal into something more productive.

Needless to say, a GTA movie would practically be a license to print money - according to Take-Two, GTA’s publisher, the series has sold over 70 million copies - but the game’s popularity is almost the main reason why a movie version will probably never happen. Most video game companies are excited when Hollywood comes a-calling, jumping at the opportunity for the global exposure, extra cash, and the ability to see their game brought to the masses through film. But with GTA, the game series is already much, much more popular and profitable than most Hollywood blockbusters. GTA doesn’t need Hollywood. Hollywood needs GTA. And that role reversal is a tough pill for the ego-driven movie studios to swallow. The only other video game in a similar predicament is Halo and, even with someone with the clout of Peter Jackson trying to shepherd that project through development, the Halo film still fell to pieces. With games like GTA and Halo, games that are so impossibly internationally famous, all of the risk lies with the game developers. Why risk a bad Hollywood adaptation if you have to give up control, if the movie could possibly hurt your brand more than help it, and if you already brought in more money than Shrek 3 last summer on your own? In other words, don’t look for a GTA movie to be hitting theatres anytime soon.

BUT if all the deal points could be worked out, it would take a pretty damn amazing director to make Rockstar and Take-Two feel like the risk was worth taking. And the only name that comes to our minds is - Quentin Tarantino. That’s right. Quentin Tarantino’s Grand Theft Auto. Let us tell you why.

BUT FIRST, SOME HISTORY:

While you let our choice for the perfect GTA director sink in for a minute, let’s quickly address something that might be on your minds - "Didn’t I hear that they were making a GTA movie already?" Back in February 2008, Ben Fritz, who writes for Variety’s Cut Scene blog, reported that there was almost a deal in place in 2007 for a Grand Theft Auto movie that would’ve starred rapper Eminem. To quote Fritz, "How close was this deal to happening? Reporters at Variety (and, I have since learned, other publications) were preparing their stories based on conversations with the studio in question. Internally at Take 2, people were talking about it as a done deal. Then at the last minute, it all fell apart."

The news of the almost-was GTA movie caused a big stir (Who was Slim Shady going to play? Claude? Tommy Vercetti?), until Rockstar co-founder Dan Houser almost immediately responded with a prepared statement. According to Houser, "Rockstar was not involved in this project in any shape or form nor is it something that we're currently interested in. There was no GTA movie in the works as far as Rockstar is concerned. Some movie producers were trying to put something together to entice us to make a movie, as studios and production teams frequently have done in the past. This proposal was no more interesting than the numerous others we receive. We never entertained proceeding with the project." Fritz claims that Houser’s response doesn’t invalidate his claim that the movie came close to happening and, that, my friends, is about as close to a GTA movie that we’ve ever come. So, getting back to the good stuff...

Movie Matchmaker: Quentin Tarantino’s Grand Theft Auto Page 2