STUDIO: Warner Brothers
RELEASE DATE: May 13, 2008
STARRING: Stephen Dorff, Jaime Murray, Jamie Foreman, and Geoff Bell
WRITTEN BY: Raymond Friel, Eamon Friel, & Derek Boyle
DIRECTED BY: Kit Ryan
FEATURES: None

Botched might have been better if it was still called 13, its working title and what it was originally marketed as, but the new title is one of the worst in a long time. It's just silly. And the goofiness of the title is reflected in the film itself, a reasonably ambitious horror-comedy that's certainly more enjoyable than a lot of the equally gruesome horror flicks that take themselves seriously, but ultimately just as aggravating. Botched wants to be like Shaun of the Dead, Black Sheep, or Severance, but simply isn't that funny. The gore factor is impressive, but the humor falls shockingly flat and the entire thing isn't helped by a damn-near-asleep performance by Stephen Dorff and an atypically dull turn from the great Jaime Murray (who recently stole scenes on Dexter). Only hardcore gorehounds need check out Botched.

The film opens promisingly with a botched diamond heist (hence the title). Our hero Ritchie (Dorff) is the only one of the three criminals left alive and the Russian mob boss he works for essentially punishes him with an assignment - steal a jewel-crusted cross from a penthouse in a skyscraper in Moscow. With two more red-shirts beside him, Ritchie gets the cross, but things go from bad to worse, when our trio of criminals end up stuck in a crowded elevator on their way out. (Hint - if you commit a crime, take the stairs.) They take the other residents of the lift hostage and exit on to the 13th floor. (Another hint - NEVER get off on the 13th floor.) It turns out that this particular cursed floor also happens to the be the playpen of a pair of crazed descendants of Ivan the Terrible. The captors and hostages soon become partners in a fight for their bloody lives in a film that features decapitations, a man lighting his own hand on fire, another dude cut in half, and much, much more gore and guts than anyone but the most diehard genre fan or maybe Rob Zombie is used to seeing on a Friday night .

Midway through the After Dark Horrorfest, Botched might have worked, but it's funny how a DVD can change expectations and set the bar higher than the film itself can hurdle. Here's the basic truth - if you're going to reference a brilliant film like Shaun of the Dead on the back of your DVD case and then note that you've won two festival awards on the front, the expectation of a pay-off gets higher. And when you throw "A bloody great movie!" on the bottom and a horror fan gets pumped up to watch your movie, don't disappoint him. Most people will be disappointed by Botched. Despite a few cleverly gory set-ups, the film just doesn't deliver in the horror or comedy department. With so many movies going for that horror-comedy hybrid in recent years, it's only proven how difficult it truly is to maintain this balance, no matter what title you end up with. (Final note: Shame on Warner Brothers for not providing the movie with a single extra. As we've said before and we'll say again, that's unacceptable in today's market.)