2008 is the year of Robert Downey Jr. For other actors, just starring in as big a movie as "Iron Man" would make this one to remember, but Downey wasn't done. He started the summer and he's about to end it with the funniest performance of the year in one of the funniest movies, "Tropic Thunder". Downey plays, well, how to put this delicately…a black man. Actually, Downey plays Kirk Lazarus, a pretentious method actor from Australia (could be based on Russell Crowe, you decide) who dyes his skin black to play an African-American soldier in a Vietnam War movie. Downey nails two satires in one part - actors who go over-the-top in the name of method and the way African-Americans are portrayed in film. It's a performance that has already earned him buzz. The biggest question left has to be how he could possibly top it in 2009. But if anybody can, it's one of the best actors alive, Robert Downey Jr.

The actor sat down for an already-infamous press conference at the Beverly Hills Four Seasons last week and we were there. You may have heard about an interviewer asking the notoriously drug-addled Downey who he would like to smoke a blunt with and who is the hottest "black chick" in Hollywood. Rather than edit the embarrassing questions and Downey's great answers, we present the interaction in its entirety. Downey rules, even if not all the people asking him questions always do.

I love the beard. Is that for a role?

ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. No.

It looks so good.

DOWNEY, JR. Thank you. Pedro from The Shave of Beverly Hills . Thank you for noticing.

So a co-writer on this film, Etan Cohen, is writing the Sherlock Holmes movie competing with yours.

DOWNEY, JR. I just made that connection. That's -- It's kind of early in the day for me. Thank you for helping me realize the connection I had not made. They need to shut that f*ckin' movie down. They don't have a chance in hell. Was that diplomatic?

The joke with your character is that he thinks he's doing this authentic portrayal of a black man in the Vietnam era, but he actually is not. Is that how you saw the role?

DOWNEY, JR. Well, I know from-- occasionally in my own experience, but much more often by observation, that there is nothing more disgusting and entertaining than watching an actor who's taking himself very seriously. And I thought to couch that in someone putting themselves under the impression that they could represent the black experience is so wrong and so creepy, that if it was done correctly, it could actually have - I don't want to say some sort of like healing effect because laughing at this thing -- because, you know, last time I checked, race relations in America aren't great. And they've taken some steps, but even LA is still kind of a segregated city. And we're supposed to be really urban and all this stuff. And then I started taking on these big, political ideas, and I'm kind of retarded. And I got my GED in prison. So I don't -- I'm not qualified to discuss this stuff. But I know that, as far as my integrity, as a man and an artist, I knew that, past a certain point that I was comfortable enough with this that I thought it was far more entertaining than controversial. And the idea of someone's prestige putting them in a position where people agree to let them do something that, if anyone had their shit together, they would say, "No, dummy. You can't do that. I don't care who you are. You can't do that," is, I think, an issue that comes up more often than it should, where people, based on their prestige over here, they decide now they want to be an astronaut. And it's like, 'No, you're not trained. You'll disintegrate,' or whatever, you know, that whole thing of, 'Because I'm famous doing this, I should be able to do whatever I want.'

Was there any reluctance?

DOWNEY, JR. Yes, my first thought was, "This sucks because Ben Stiller is calling me and we're talking about a comedy, but this is a really terrible idea. And they should shut this movie down because he doesn't understand that this is a really lousy idea."

This could have gone the wrong way.

DOWNEY, JR. He said, "I think if this is done well and right-- and believe me, I'll be responsible about this." And we're fairly evolved guys, you know? But that's my reaction any time to any -- whenever someone is offering me an opportunity to be employed, my first reaction is remorse and disgust, which is some -- I don't know. I'll get into it later in therapy. But I am put under the impression that I've been through enough in life and somebody should just give me a bunch of money and say, "Well, you just take it easy and don't do anything. Don't do anything stupid for five years, and they'll pay you."

I got my GED in prison also.

DOWNEY, JR. Thank you.

Who would you rather have a brew or smoke a blunt with, Ben Stiller or Jack Black?

DOWNEY, JR. Did you say who would I rather have as a cellmate, or who would I rather fight?

Who would you rather chill with?

DOWNEY, JR. I think it would be regrettable if I were to drink or smoke weed with either of them because they would say, "Wow, I got stoned and I have a buzz." And I would be off to the races and in jail within three days.

If you had to do a love scene in your next movie --

DOWNEY, JR. Which I do.

With Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, or Lindsay Lohan, who would it be?

DOWNEY, JR. Britney Spears. That was an easy question. Huh? Britney Spears.

If you were really in Vietnam , which actor would you want to have there next to you?

DOWNEY, JR. Nick Nolte.

Is he a rider? Is he a G? Can he handle his business or what?

DOWNEY, JR. I'm not sure. You just asked -- I just went right from the gut. If I was out there, I would just want him looking at me going, "[IMITATES NICK NOLTE] Let me get the fuck out of here."

Are gas prices really bothering you?

DOWNEY, JR. Gas prices don't affect me. I drive a Bentley and I think I get a mile and a half a gallon, so I --

What's your favorite reality --?

DOWNEY, JR. Hold on! I'm not done. So I'm a pig.

I wanted to ask you some cool questions.

DOWNEY, JR. It's all right. No, no, no, I was just noticing the phenomenon.

You've had a very successful career. How would you look back at this year?

DOWNEY, JR. This has been a good one.

When you look back on this ten years from now, what would you find?

DOWNEY, JR. This is kind of like the beginning of a new chapter, you know, unhindered by my own character defects as much, you know? It's pretty just straightforward physics, you know? I think.

Can you look at the work in a different way now? You've consistently turned in good work, but maybe you weren't as objective about it.

DOWNEY, JR. You're assuming that I'm seeing it clearly now.

I have every hope.

DOWNEY, JR. Yeah, but clarity, non-clarity, having your act together, being a wreck, those things don't necessarily always coincide, you know? Some people are completely out to lunch and doing far more good for the world and having a more interesting and adventurous life than someone who has a moral psychology. There's so many shades of grey, that's all I'm saying. But for me, it's interesting because I don't ever mean to be evasive about the question. But I don't really think of things that way. I don't think of then and now. I kind of just feel like there's right now and there's stuff to come and there's stuff that happened.

Is life easier for you now?

DOWNEY, JR. No, it's just really, really different. I think life is hard no matter what's going on.

How did you get to where you are now?

DOWNEY, JR. I don't know.

Seriously?

DOWNEY, JR. Yeah. I mean, I could say I did this and I did that, but then that's taking credit. And I think that most of us are guided by forces that we don't understand.

If you could change anything, would you change it?

DOWNEY, JR. No, and wait, wait, wait. Actually, it's the wrong question because the truth is you can change everything. And do I choose to change everything? Occasionally. And sometimes I try to change things that I'm supposed to leave alone. And luckily, again, if you're quiet enough, those voices and those intuitions come and tell you, "Keep your hands off this one. You have no idea what you're doing."

So maybe you just move a little slower these days?

DOWNEY, JR. Or faster, depending.

They brought Dale Dye to be the military adviser on this.

DOWNEY, JR. They did?

Well, he said he did.

DOWNEY, JR. Wait a minute. Okay.

Did you do any sort of boot camp thing?

DOWNEY, JR. Dale Dye, God I love him. I don't think I've seen him much since "Natural Born Killers".

So no boot camp or anything?

DOWNEY, JR. I do not remember any boot camp.

What would you like to see happen in "Iron Man 2"?

DOWNEY, JR. We had a lot of creative discussions, and I think what we want to do is remember what about the movie gave us the response we enjoyed so much, which is, "I could take my kid to this. I really appreciated that you transcended the genre in this way." So rather than do that thing -- like Kirk Lazarus takes his success as a legitimate actor and aborts it by doing something that is absolutely ridiculous and self-important. So to take the success of "Iron Man 1" and then say, "Now we're going to do something really gritty," or "Now we're going to just do this huge effects laden thing," I think what made the first one work was its simplicity and its character development.

One of the things I enjoyed in this movie is that you totally disappeared in this role.

DOWNEY, JR. It was very freeing. I would -- and this topic notwithstanding, I would encourage everybody to, at some point, wear a mask that's very different from them and their experience. And I don't mean that as an actory, garbagy thing. But it's so freeing to experience yourself through a different --

We talked to Dustin Hoffman after "Tootsie" and he actually took Dorothy out on the street and walked her around and realized that she would never be married because she wasn't a gorgeous woman. Did you take this character out and walk him around?

DOWNEY, JR. My instincts told me that that wouldn't be such a good idea.

Who is a hot black chick in Hollywood right now?

DOWNEY, JR. Next question.

What's that one movie of yours that you're most proud of?

DOWNEY, JR. That would be a very self-important answer. It was a good question. Just what am I supposed to say? "Let me tell you the movie of mine you really gotta fuckin' check out."

What is your favorite movie you've been in?

DOWNEY, JR. But it's not easy for me.

No hot black chicks?

DOWNEY, JR. God bless your heart, dude.

These are good questions!

DOWNEY, JR. [LAUGHS] I know. God, I'm f*ckin' so glad you're here, dude.

Is it true that you bought televisions for the prison you were in?

DOWNEY, JR. No, it's not true. No, but I said it was.

Somebody told me you were interested in making sure there's positive vibrations about things. How are you feeling now?

DOWNEY, JR. I think everything's fine. I think everything is fine, you know?

I thought my questions were better than anybody's. You should've answered my questions. They were really good questions.

DOWNEY, JR. Just because they're all good -- I'm sorry.

Do you own the rights to "Putney Swope"? If you do, can we talk?

DOWNEY, JR. Wow. My dad's working on that. Boy, 40 years ago.

Did you meet with Steve Lopez for "The Soloist"?

DOWNEY, JR. I did meet with him, and we had a great time. He's an awesome guy. Then I went and played him.

Is that weird?

DOWNEY, JR. Not really. This isn't even weird.