What to Watch This Fall
by Brian Tallerico

Decisions, decisions. With more and more options every year for your TV viewing time, how do you decide? The question that's really on the minds of most TV suits is a little different - how do you WATCH? With more and more people finally succumbing to the world of DVR and watching TV online, actual time slots are becoming more and more irrelevant. So consider this feature a throwback of sorts. Yes, boys and girls, there really was a time when we all had to sit in front of the television to see the latest shows and we couldn't just pause for a bathroom break or rewind to hear a funny line again. We had to pick. The Simpsons or The Cosby Show? Even when Grey's Anatomy first went up against CSI, there weren't nearly as many people able to "watch" both through DVRs, iTunes, etc. A lot of people go as far as to refuse to watch TV as it airs simply because they haven't seen a commercial all year and that's not about to change during Lipstick Jungle. But what if you're home on a weeknight with nothing to do? You've emptied your iPod, your DVR is at 0% and Hulu keeps crashing on you. You actually have to watch TV live. What most deserves your attention? Let The Deadbolt guide the way. We've looked closely at every time slot, including what's on cable, this Fall and picked the best show in each of them. Now, of course, all time slots are not created equal. There are times of the week when you should catch up on DVR like, oh, all of Friday and Saturday night. So, there are a few times in the schedule when you will need to watch something and DVR something else for future, lonelier time slots. Hopefully, you have that capability. Get your daily planner and a pencil. Here we go.

SUNDAY

8PM - THE AMAZING RACE (CBS)
The best reality show on television returns September 28th with another great episode of what is sure to be a killer season. There's something about TAR that other reality shows still don't get. It's not about the host (although Phil is pretty damn cool). It's not even about the game itself. It's about two things - casting and editing. Get the most interesting group of people together, film them for hours, and then edit together the best show. The Amazing Race does that every single week. This season features not one, but two pairs of lovable dorks, some aging hippies, a couple of truly annoying New Yorkers, and a former football player. And, most wisely, not a single pair of young dudes. One of the problems with the past seasons has been that even money went pretty easily on the youngest, in-shape male couple. There isn't one (that hasn't spent more time playing Halo than hoops) this season, so the race is wide open. DVR ALERT: It may be a shadow of its former self, but The Simpsons (FOX) is still worth a look every now and then, especially for those of us who have been alive for its entire legacy.

9PM - DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
The second-best show on television also returns September 28th with an attempt to follow-up its very successful sophomore season, one that saw the biggest hit in Showtime's history land Emmy nominations for Best Drama and Best Actor. The second season of Dexter was good but what I've seen of the third season - the first four episodes - is better. I think the show deserved at least two more Emmy nominations for season two - supporting nods for Keith Carradine and Jennifer Carpenter - but there's an even better foil for Dexter Morgan this season in guest star Jimmy Smits as a Cuban A.D.A. named Miguel Prado that shares a deadly secret with our sociopathic hero. The emotional counter-balance between the fiery Miguel and the cold-as-ice Dexter is stunningly realized. It's great stuff. And Carpenter gets better every year. Dexter is one of the few shows that merits canceling Sunday night plans and watching as it airs. It's too good for a DVR. (We'll get into season three more with a full-length review next week.) DVR ALERT: Family Guy (FOX) may not be what it once was but it's still worth a DVR and, every once in a while, so is American Dad! (FOX). True Blood (HBO) has started very interestingly, but you can find that in any number of airings on the original, HBO 2, HBO Zone, or HBO Overkill. For more on True Blood, check out the complete review.

10PM - ENTOURAGE/LITTLE BRITAIN USA (HBO)
The first close battle of the week. Entourage or Californication? Fans of Entourage would admit that it's slipped lately and Californication struggled a bit out of the gate but shows potential in the first part of season two, which starts September 28th. We're sticking with Vinny Chase and the boys for now (new episodes are airing now) and are curious about the new import Little Britain USA, but if they go back to that Medellin well one more time, Duchovny may steal Aquaman's thunder. For more on Entourage, check out the complete review.DVR ALERT: Californication (SHOWTIME). Duh.

MONDAY

8PM - THE TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES (FOX)
The most-crowded timeslot of the season goes down in the first primetime battle of Monday nights. This is ridiculous and it's actually kind of insulting that one of the networks didn't blink and move a potential hit. The big problem is that all five of the networks are going for a similar demographic, the only one that matters to advertisers - the young folks. It's not like one of the networks is airing an updated version of Murder, She Wrote. So, what to watch? Well, most people aren't watching Gossip Girl on a television set, much less when it actually airs, and The CW seems totally fine with that, so keep watching that on iTunes, your phone, on the sides of buses, however you get your Blair Waldorf is a good way to get it. Screw Dancing With the Stars. You can see the highlights on The Soup anyway. (Don't pretend you don't watch E!) Personally, I like watching comedy on DVD (there's much less chance of being spoiled on major plot twists than with something like Heroes or Lost), so The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother on CBS will have to wait a year. Chuck is up-and-down but features one of the best writing staffs on TV, so we'll DVR that one and watch - partially because the rapidly declining ratings need us - The Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. The jury is still out on the show overall but the second season has started creatively and there's more than enough storytelling potential here if John Connor ever stops whining. DVR ALERT: Chuck (NBC). If either Chuck or SCC get canceled, which could easily happen by the end of the year, the CBS comedies are worth the time.

9PM - HEROES (NBC)
No one was more down on the second season of Heroes than myself but I do love that creator Tim Kring and others behind the scenes have openly acknowledged what went wrong and are ready for a reboot. Show me a great comic series and I'll show you a book that had a few bad issues. Honestly, even movie franchises based on men who wear tights usually have their ups and downs. So, could season three of Heroes be the Batman Begins for the series? A way to start fresh and re-find the incredible storytelling that made season one so great? Good news. The answer is yes. Come back soon for a full-length review of the excellent third-season premiere. DVR ALERT: Prison Break (FOX) is another series trying to hit refresh after a lackluster season. It doesn't feel anything like it used to back in the first two years, but there's something about the new season that works for me. It could just be the manic energy of the Mission:Impossible-esque plot going on. It could just be that the writers have gone so over the edge that they're bringing headless characters back from the dead. It could just be Michael Rapaport. If Prison Break gets the axe - and with rapidly declining ratings even in the young demo that is a concern - switch over to the CBS comedies, Two and a Half Men and Worst Week. Go here for a more detailed look at Prison Break.

10PM - MY OWN WORST ENEMY (NBC)
No one has really seen much of My Own Worst Enemy yet - NBC has been the most secretive with their new shows - but the potential for something interesting is definitely there. Christian Slater, who clearly has an aging portrait of himself in his basement, seems a likely candidate to find massive success on television and the premise - a mild-mannered family man discovers, to his surprise, that he's also a super-spy with an alternate personality - is intriguing. "It's The Manchurian Candidate meets Leave it to Beaver!" Spy shows are big (Chuck, Burn Notice) but what I'm most curious about with My Own Worst Enemy will be how much of the series is "mythology-based" and how much is stand-alone. Are we going to watch Howard/Edward balancing grocery-shopping with spy-killing in individual adventures every week or will we have a "Dharma-esque" conspiracy to deal with? The best shows balance both (no one did it better than The X-Files in its prime.) Now, here's a suggestion - if My Own Worst Enemy jumps the shark in the pilot and ends up as interesting as Bionic Woman, the Peacock should move the increasingly intriguing Life to this time slot. Life has been relegated to the TV wasteland that is Friday nights but this clever mystery series could be a better fit with the young demo of Heroes than NBC realizes. Just a thought. DVR ALERT: They've had their moments, but I can take or leave, Raising the Bar (TNT), CSI: Miami (CBS) or Boston Legal (ABC). Give your machine a break or record one of the non-NBC shows for the 'rents.

TUESDAY

8PM - HOUSE (FOX)
The good doctor is one that I enjoy on DVD more than in original airings but it should decimate in this time slot. There's nothing that comes close to being even as interesting as the supporting cast of House, much less the great lead performance by Hugh Laurie. Do you really want to watch someone else's family play a game show with their hobbies and secrets on ABC in the new family game show Opportunity Knocks? My God. It's like a team-building work outing from Hell. NCIS is okay. Biggest Loser: Families has its audience but I'm not it. 90210 fits into the same groove as Gossip Girl - it looks better on your iPod. That leaves House, a reliable stand-by that will always entertain you even as it grosses out your wife. DVR ALERT: 90210 (THE CW) or Biggest Loser: Families (NBC), depending on whether your tastes tend to the beautiful on the outside or the beautiful on the inside.

9PM - THE MENTALIST (CBS)
Now this is a battle. The trendy new show on Fox or the more likely hit on CBS? Critics and audiences under 50 tend to avoid CBS, but I'm here to tell you that the Eye has the better show as of September. It's close, but the premiere of The Mentalist is more interesting than what we've seen of Fringe to date. The Mentalist, debuting September 23rd, could accurately be called a darker version of USA's Psych. Simon Baker plays a former psychic fraud who uses the tools that he employed to convince people he was psychic - basically just keen powers of observation - to solve crimes. It sounds like it's been done before and who really needs another mystery series, right? Well, as you can tell by this feature - no Law & Orders, no CSIs - I'm not a big fan of the weekly mystery genre, but I'm going to watch The Mentalist. The writing is better than average for the genre and the cast, including Robin Tunney, is great. There's a dark streak of humor in the pilot that's surprising. And Baker is charming as hell. The Mentalist could be the highest rated new show of the season. I'm not psychic but it's just a feeling. DVR ALERT: Fringe (FOX), although it's on borrowed time after about 25 good minutes in its first 2.5 hours on the air. For more on Fringe, check out the complete review.

10PM - THE SHIELD (FX)
The best show on TV. Go here for a MUCH more detailed explanation, but there's nothing that comes close to The Shield this Fall. Don't miss a minute. DVR ALERT: Without a Trace (CBS) is an old stand-by even if it is showing its age in its seventh season. An interesting timeslot battle to watch this season will be Without versus Law & Order: SVU. Aren't they the exact same demographic? We'll take Trace by a bloody nose.

WEDNESDAY

8PM - PUSHING DAISIES (ABC)
I LOVE Pushing Daisies, the best new show of the 2007-2008 season. Here's the problem - there hasn't been a new Pushing Daisies in 2008. When the strike hit, this expensive show shut down and didn't come back for the small window of time that a lot of series did at the end of last season. For all intents and purposes, Pushing Daisies is a new show again. We're in a time of television where going off the air for that long doesn't make the heart grow fonder as much as it grows forgetful. (The producers of 24 have reason to be nervous.) I have a feeling that Knight Rider is going to sink faster than Bionic Woman and the audience for The New Adventures of Old Christine has never been there (most were surprised it was renewed). Which leaves one show to siphon viewers from Daisies and it's a big one that seems to get bigger by the year - Bones. ABC, if you're listening, move Pushing Daisies. The audience is too similar. We would rarely suggest taking a great show and putting it in the wasteland of Friday nights, but that's where we'd love to see Daisies. The threshold for cancellation is much lower because of small ratings expectations on Friday nights and most people are DVRing this masterpiece anyway. Keep the best show about the dead alive. DVR ALERT: Bones (FOX). Until they move or (God forbid) cancel Pushing Daisies. Bones doesn't need the ratings. Daisies does.

9PM - CRIMINAL MINDS (CBS)
This is the weakest time slot outside of the weekend. In fact, you should watch Pushing Daisies at 8, DVR Bones, and then watch Bones or other pre-recorded shows you need to catch up on. Deal or No Deal is one step above Hole in the Wall for shows that literally demand you turn your brain off to get through them and we're never watching anything called Stylista unless Tyra Banks comes to our house and forces us to do so. Private Practice? Very funny. That leaves the awkward comedy of Fox - the sometimes-okay 'Til Death and the awful Do Not Disturb (which is an easy frontrunner for first new show to get the axe) - or the stalwart on CBS, Criminal Minds. One of the core cast members is going to bite it in the season premiere and guest stars in the upcoming season include Jason Alexander, Luke Perry, and Wil Wheaton. Wheaton always wins the day. DVR ALERT: Original episodes of Friday Night Lights pop up on DirecTV, which is kind of like going from starting QB on a playoff contender to backup on the Dolphins. The 13-episode season will move to NBC in February. Don't get me wrong, I love my DirecTV and couldn't live without Sunday Ticket, but the idea that original programming will be based on your provider scares the crap out of me. Imagine a world where some cable providers offer different shows than others. Keeping FNL alive is a good thing, but this could be the start of a scary new world.

10PM - DIRTY SEXY MONEY (ABC)
Another timeslot where you could catch up on your DVR viewing or sample a couple of shows with potential but with juries still out on their overall quality. Sons of Anarchy on FX has started right in the middle of the scale and Dirty Sexy Money was on the downside last season but has reportedly reinvented itself for round two. Both shows feature talented ensembles and very dysfunctional families but both shows also feature some pretty weak writing. If the writing isn't believable, I'll take the beautiful people of DSM over Sons of Anarchy for now, but if the show falls back into its awkward storytelling of season one, I'm getting on the Harley. DVR ALERT: Sons of Anarchy (FX), of course, but you could be forgiven for checking out The Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Island (MTV) for the best guilty pleasure on TV. Honestly, the only reason to keep Real World and Road Rules on the air is to keep casting for this show, which takes the spoiled idiots of MTV reality and subjects them to cruel physical challenges during the day and booze-filled chaos at night. When can we get some of those Hills chicks on The Island?

THURSDAY

8PM - SURVIVOR: GABON (CBS)
Still going strong after 45 years on the air - okay, it just FEELS that long - Survivor finally goes HD this year. Yes, you will get to see the inevitable pus-filled wounds and the dirtiest people on television in loving, high-definition detail. I can't wait. Survivor has seen its ratings slip over the last few seasons but the show hasn't changed its winning formula at all and the last couple have actually been among the series best. Most reality shows wear out their welcome pretty quickly, but Survivor is almost always entertaining from first episode to last. DVR ALERT: My Name is Earl and Kath & Kim on NBC. The former is still consistently funny and, while I haven't seen the latter, I'll give anything with the very talented Molly Shannon a shot at least once.

9PM - THE OFFICE/30 ROCK (NBC)
This may be the easiest choice of the week. 30 Rock is still the best comedy on network television and The Office started weak last season but ended very strongly. The finale was priceless and the inclusion of the awesome Amy Ryan for at least a few episodes in the new season should have all TV fans excited. 30 Rock struggled a bit too around the strike but it's still incredibly well-written television with the best comedy ensemble on TV. Remember when TV comedy was in its prime and there were a lot of hours like this to choose from during a week? There's nothing in the world of TV comedy that compares to this hour. DVR ALERT: Supernatural (THE CW). Why? I can't really say, but I still enjoy the occasional adventure of the Winchester boys. And Dean is in Hell. A lot of shows would be improved by sending a character to Hades.

10PM - IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA/THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM (FX/COMEDY CENTRAL)
Damn funny. That's all I have to say. I'll admit that I struggled against the first couple of seasons of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It felt like they were trying too hard to be edgy. But last season was priceless and what I've seen of the new one is just as good. Sunny finds a remarkable balance between being offensive and lovable at the same time. The characters are indefensibly horrible, but you still root for them and want to get a beer with 'em. It's kind of like Seinfeld in that regard - a quartet of remorseless idiots that do horrible things to each other but make you laugh in the process. The first two episodes alone of the fourth season feature tea-bagging, cannibalism, swallowing gasoline, waterboarding in a urinal, gorilla-masking (don't ask), and an exploding van. Totally offensive. Totally hilarious. Keep the laughs going with the hottest comedienne on TV in the second half of the hour. DVR ALERT: Life on Mars (ABC) and The Eleventh Hour (CBS) have both been kept from critics so far but both show potential. Whichever one comes out of the gate better, record that one.

FRIDAY/SATURDAY

Fridays and Saturdays are ALL DVR ALERT. Catch up with what you recorded over the week or check out the aforementioned Life on NBC, the still-unseen Crusoe on NBC or the intriguing Crash on STARZ. Crash, the Best Picture winner, was originally conceived as a TV series and it returns to those roots this season starring the always-fascinating Dennis Hopper. A weekly dose of "racism is bad" may not sound like a fun way to end the week and Starz certainly isn't known for A-level programming, but we'll check it out...if we're not too tired from the week that was.