Oh, Bruce. Why have you forsaken us? Mr. McCulloch has fallen from the pure genius of Kids in the Hall to creating one of the worst new shows of the fall season, the unbearably predictable and tragically unfunny Carpoolers, a new sitcom on ABC. The very fact that Carpoolers and Cavemen are back-to-back on ABC should force the network into some kind of punishment. Seriously. There needs to be a price to pay. If a network produces an hour like Cavemen and Carpoolers, they should be ineligible for an Emmy or two the next year or miss out on a major sports broadcast. Something like that would mean that a lot fewer shows like Carpoolers would make the air. Because I find it hard to fathom that anyone behind-the-scenes watched the first two episodes of Carpoolers and said, "Yeah, that's funny. That'll be a hit. That'll make us look good." It was something easy to do to fill a time slot. Somebody should be punished.

Before you think we're exaggerating the situation of the first two laugh-free episodes of Carpoolers (the only two worse shows this fall were Cavemen and Big Shots and that's only because those shows were offensive and Carpoolers is just unfunny), let us describe a recurring joke from the second episode for those of you that missed it. Four presumably normal and average workers on their way to the daily grind sing along, out LOUD, to "Come On Eileen" by Dexy's Midnight Runners. They, of course, get the words wrong and start to argue over their only-on-TV interpretation of what the words actually are. They call OnStar to get the answer. The credits roll. Before the end, the gang sings the song again with all their heart. What year is it? Seriously, the "screwing up lyrics" joke was popular in sitcoms in the mid-'80s, but that wouldn't be that bad if the show wasn't set up as a slice of life comedy. The fatal flaw of the series is that you can't pretend that a show is supposed to be an Office-esque look at real domesticity, and then have your characters do mind-bendingly ridiculous and unbelievable stuff like car sing-alongs. It's aggravating and it's only one example of many.

Carpoolers wouldn't be quite so frustrating if there weren't so many talented people involved. We mentioned McCulloch already (and won't again) and the talented cast of Carpoolers really isn't to blame. Fred Goss, Jerry Minor, Tim Peper, and Jerry O'Connell play the title quartet who are, of course, all at different stages in their lives. One is a father of many, one has a small family of three, one is divorced, and one is a newlywed. And, despite their best efforts, all are about as believable as the characters on Homeboys From Outer Space. There's not a genuine moment in the first two episodes of Carpoolers and everyone involved deserved better writing. Hell, Dexy's Midnight Runners deserved better writing.